Last week, a co-worker had a birthday, and birthdays are celebrated differently here in Germany than they are in the U.S.  For example, the woman only works Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and her birthday was on Friday. So, you’d expect the celebration to be on Thursday, right?

Not so. The birthday celebration has to be AFTER the actual birthday, even if it’s five days later. I guess that’s to make sure you survived. We wouldn’t want to celebrate early for no reason!

Then, on top of that, no one decorates your desk or throws confetti at you or even brings a cake. YOU are expected to work to bring US the cake. I mean, you were the one that had the nerve to be born! And I won’t even get started on how cakes are not really cakes here. I know, I know, to each his own. But there’s something I just love about that extra sweet, moist U.S. cake… yum.

The last thing they do that I find a little weird, and frankly a little awkward, is the hugging. If it’s your birthday - I don’t care how well you know someone - you’re subjected to hugs. I mean, I guess there could be worse things. But they’re such a closed society and it always feels weird hugging someone that normally wouldn’t even say “good morning” to me.

Last year I took the day off on my birthday to avoid these weird customs, and this year I thought I’d do the same. But the Germans have caught on to me, and they insist that there will be a celebration when I return.

Guess I’d better make a cake…